Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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