but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
