Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize