My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
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