someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
