She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
