it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
