you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
