i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
