my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
