yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
