Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
There r osticjed everywhere
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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