guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
