Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
