If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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