the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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