so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
