were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
