Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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