I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Randomize
