i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
