Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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