kristin has been a bad kristin
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
