Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
