I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
