i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
