I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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