Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
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