I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
