I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
