My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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