I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
