i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
