Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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