Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
