You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
