How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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