I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Your penis caused this!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
