I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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