The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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