It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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