k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
