It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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