I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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