Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
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