i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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