Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
