i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
