just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
