Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I want to stick my p in your. b.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
