Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
