she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just had sex on a roof
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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