He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
