I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
if i died would you start the facebook group?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
