i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
