It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Terrible idea I love it
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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