He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
