I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
